You’re in the supermarket, and your child is sprawled on the floor, wailing because you picked the wrong yoghurt. Strangers glance over. You feel embarrassed, frustrated, maybe even helpless. But what if, instead of asking “Why are they acting like this?”, we paused to ask “What’s happening in their brain right now?”
Understanding a child’s behaviour through the lens of brain development changes everything. What looks like defiance is often just biology in action — a young brain still learning how to cope with the world.
The Brain Under Construction
Children aren’t miniature adults. Their brains are still under construction — and the parts responsible for emotional control, impulse management, and reasoning are some of the last to fully mature.
The prefrontal cortex, often called the “upstairs brain,” governs logic, decision-making and self-regulation. But in young children, it’s still developing. Meanwhile, the “downstairs brain”, including the amygdala and brainstem, …